Draft series: 7th grade stalker

Draft date :11/8/2016

I was stalked... for a little while in 7th grade. Okay, maybe stalked is too serious of a term to call it, since the boy and I attended the same school, but, well...I felt stalked. You see, I didn't know this young man. All I remember is that he saw me at some point, and decided he wanted to get to know me. My middle school had a special building for the magnet students (BEAT Kids...don't let me get started on that), and it was on the other side of the school from where the other students were located. I don't remember the specifics of how often he followed me, but I remember a specific day when I was picked up late.

Most my friends had already left and I was still waiting to be picked up. And guess who appears? Yup, him. The young man who has been randomly popping up in places that I was. And so, having encountered me alone, with no one around. He finally asked the question he wanted to ask:

"Can I enjoy you?"

That was his question, guys. Now, if I wasn't weird-ed out before, I DEFINITELY was on edge after having a total stranger ask me if he could...enjoy me...not enjoy my company, not enjoy a conversation WITH me...enjoy...me.WHAT? So, how did I respond?

"Excuse me? Can you enjoy me? What do you think I am? Some kind of food, some kind of desert? What kind of question is that?"

I could clearly tell he was offended with my response...and in typical Diana fashion, I felt bad for my response to him. So I tried to make small talk about...the school bus. Needless to say, that was the end of the stalking.

This memory came to my mind earlier today. I still wonder where he got the question "Can I enjoy you?" from. But, maybe he was on to something, in the sense that we are all seeking and craving something to satisfy us, someone to satiate our deepest longings and  hunger. We were made to savor and enjoy Jesus. The word of God says " Oh taste and see that the Lord is good". Tasting and seeing has so much to do with our senses. The things, or people that we tend to enjoy most are the ones that engage our beings totally.

I mean, think about it. Drugs, sex, music, food, entertainment, nature, etc, all appeal and arouse some aspect of our senses at some level or another. And yet, when not enjoyed in the right context, these can bring utter destruction to our beings. *Yes,I believe there is a proper legal medicinal context for certain drugs.*

As I thought about the concept of Christian hedonism- fancy word for "pleasure seeking", I realized that I seldom truly grasp the magnitude of that reality. I was created to enjoy JESUS.... forever. Yet, I still find myself looking to other things and other people for ultimate fulfillment, and that's a problem.

So for anyone who wrestles with this as much as I do. My prayer is that we will begin to taste and see the goodness of our God. May we be reminded of His amazing love, and may or hearts burst forth with worship to Him. May His Word be what we desire in order to know Him, and may we walk in obedience, even when it is difficult. May we not fall prey to the ideology that He is a means to an end of material blessing. Surely if He is a means to an end, may we be reminded that He is the END. He is the Omega. For from Him, and through Him, and to Him flows all things.

I love how the Holy Spirit can use everything to point us to Jesus, even the memory an awkward question asked by a "7th grade stalker".

Rediscovering Jesus

Hey guys, it's been a while, eh? Yeah! I know. Happy summer!! It's that time of year again when the sun is beating down its beautiful rays on us. Soak it up...healthily. So, I just wanted to keep you all in the loop as far as what I'll be studying this summer.

I recently realized that I've been focusing on "me" a lot in regards to my relationship with Christ. Don't get me wrong, thinking about my identity in Him, His purpose for me, my sanctification, etc., are not bad things. However when I start to seek God for these things, without beholding the Glory of who He is, then I've made the Gospel all about me. No bueno. So, this summer I've decided to read through the Gospels. I want to "rediscover Jesus", rediscover the One in whom "all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell" (Col 1:9). I want to once again behold the glory of our God, each and everyday.

I'll try and keep you all updated on what He has shown me. Love you lots!

Diana

the One who truly satisfies

Lately, God has been teaching me what it means to be truly satisfied.

 “Come, everyone who thirsts,

come to the waters;

and he who has no money,

come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

without money and without price.

2 Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread,

and your labor for that which does not satisfy?

Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good,

and delight yourselves in rich food.

3 Incline your ear, and come to me;

hear, that your soul may live;

and I will make with you an everlasting covenant,

my steadfast, sure love for David. (Isaiah 55:1-3, ESV)

Have you ever been to a buffet restaurant before? Come on. Don't lie. You eat an obscene amount of food, leave with a sense of regret/repentance for your gluttony, and then 2 hours later.....you're hungry again. Wait! What! What happened to that plate of chicken and broccoli? the orange chicken? the shrimp pasta? the wonton soup? the ...okay, you get the point. 

The food satisfied, but only for a moment. 

I'm convinced that each and every person is looking for satisfaction. You can quote me me on that. We are all looking to fill ourselves with something, or someone. Even if you don't necessarily feel the literal "void" of dissatisfaction, if you take a moment and consider your life decisions, you'll see that they were made to satisfy an unmet desire. 

Before coming to Christ, I had no idea I was dissatisfied. I was fine with my life as long as everyone was fine with me. But, there's the problem. That's where I was dissatisfied. I kept looking to other people:family, friends, strangers... to satisfy me. As long as they thought I was "nice" and "a good person", then I was satisfied. But, if there was ever an altercation/someone didn't like me...the void of dissatisfaction with my identity became apparent.

Right now, some of you are trying to satisfy yourself with a guy/girl, or education & success, or food, or beauty & fitness, or serving others, or  ___________. But I can assure you, that the satisfaction that comes from these things will only be temporary. It wont last forever. It is not eternal. 

Don't get me wrong here. These things are great, and not inherently wrong. I love relationships. Education is a beautiful thing. Food....c'mon, need I explain myself? etc. But the fact is that until we come to know Jesus Christ, and look to Him as our complete source of satisfaction, we will always come up empty.

In John 4, Jesus encounters a Samarian woman at the well. He engages in a conversation with her, and He quickly addresses her dissatisfaction. You see, not only was this woman socially ostracized, but she also kept looking for her identity in various relationships with men. She had 5 ex-husbands, and the man she was living with was not her husband. This woman came to the well to fill her water jar. She came, once again, to the source to be satisfied. Here is a snippet of the conversation between her and Jesus:

Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” 15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water."

Jesus was inviting this woman to feast of Him. To drink of Him. To find her complete satisfaction in who He is! At the end of their encounter, when the woman finally realizes that Jesus is the Messiah, she leaves her water jar. Can you believe that? The very purpose for which she came to the well was completely abandoned when she encountered the One who truly satisfies.

Guys, this is what we were created to do. To find our complete satisfaction in God, and in turn, bring glory to His name. 

Food for thought (get it? lol): 

Psalm 107:9 For he satisfies the longing soul,
    and the hungry soul he fills with good things.

Jeremiah 2:13 "for my people have committed two evils:

they have forsaken me,
    the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
    broken cisterns that can hold no water."

John 6:35 "Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst."