Friendships

This year has definitely been an interesting year for me in regards to friendships. I've never really been a person to have many misunderstandings with friends or anything like that, but this year I sure have had had my fair share of ....growing pains... in my friendships. Being in college away from my comfort bubble of home, really makes "doing life" with others(non relatives) much more accessible. That being said, I have had to learn and relearn a lot about friendships this year. God is a relational God, so He often uses relationships to prune us. Whether its a marriage relationship or a friendship,  or a familial relationship (can you tell I'm a Family and Child Sciences major?), there is always something to be learned. So, I am just gonna list some things that God has taught me this year through various friendships.

1. Sin stinks.It's silent, but deadly.Like a bad fart

• For real though. It does. I have found that many times when I have felt "slighted" by a friend, it usually boils down to selfishness or pride or entitlement, or some other sin/misconception that's lingering in my heart. "I don't wanna do this  because....(insert selfish reason here)". 

2. Friendship requires work. You cant just maintain a friendship by being passive and complacent. You have to be intentional.

•  Learned this lesson when I realized that I had to start actually scheduling time to hang out with friends, because our schedules weren't compatible. If I wait around to see if it will just happen 'organically', it probably wont!

3. People have different love languages.

• Yup, it's true. People perceive love in very different ways. One of my best friends is a "quality time" person. All she wants is some good quality time with the people she loves(preferably on a 1 to 1 basis). I, on the other hand, I love words of affirmation. So for the longest time, even if I couldn't see her for a week, I'd always want to keep in constant communication, affirm that I miss her and all these other things. Can you imagine how shocked I was then she told me she personally didn't believe my claims of missing her because we didn't hang out very often?Yeah! Rain on my parade, why don't you? lol We definitely are still working on this..and learning to express our love for each other the way the other person best receives it.

4. Words. Mind your words

• Soo, whats the smallest body part that can cause the most damage? Yup, the tongue. Man! Proverbs 18:21 says "Life and death are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit."        How true is this? You can never "take back" anything that you say. So pleasseee, be mindful of your words. They can build someone up, or tear them down. Also, think about the WAY you say what you want to relay. Even if what you are saying is true, make sure you're saying it out of a place of love and compassion, and not spite or pride. 

5. People are different. *GASP* what a shocker??

• I have friends who need a good half an hour before they discuss a heated issue, if not, they know they'll regret what they'd say. Myself on the other hand, whenever a conflict occurs,...I want to talk it out then and there (lets get to the bottom of this..now). Being mindful of the differences in communication makes a world of a difference. Id much rather wait an extra hour (though painstaking) to discuss an issue, than have a friend say something to me that they'll regret, and that'll cut me to the core.

6. God is a God ..of all things. 

• I've definitely learned the importance of abiding in Christ! He is the same God when I'm frustrated with my best friend, as He is when we are laughing our heads off in the late hours of the night. He cares, and He is there to help. Taking even a few minutes to just pray and ask Him to help you changes everything!!!

7.Keep the Gospel as my Perspective. Nobody's perfect (Hanna Montana anyone?)

• No matter what obstacles I might encounter in my friendships, I am confident that it can somehow point me back to the Gospel. Forgiveness is key! That's what God did for us when Christ lived the perfect life, died a death on behalf of sinners, and then resurrected to justify the unjustifiable (you and I). If I've been forgiven of SOOO much, what right do I have to withhold forgiveness from anyone else? None, none whatsoever

8. Because of the lessons learned through my friendships, I've been made more into the image of Christ.

• For real though guys, God has definitely used you to chisel me in ways that He wants, and I am so grateful for that!!

Prov 27:17

"Iron sharpens iron,

    and one man sharpens another"