Am I Captivating... Enough?

Have you ever been in the situation where someone liked you, or you thought they liked you, but you didn't necessarily like them back? Even though you didn't reciprocate the feelings that the person had for you, you somewhat enjoyed the attention you got from them? I know I have. Just a couple weeks ago I experienced this first hand. There was a guy, who I suspected had liked me, because of the way he treated me, and I must say part of me really enjoyed having someone indirectly say " Hey, I think you're pretty captivating". That's probably why I was utterly off-put when I saw that individual switching the attention from me, to another person.

Wait! Pause! What in the world? Why would I care, right? It's not like I have a crush on you or something. Why am I so bothered by this?

After my emotional breakdown  (let's say I tend to feel things intensely) regarding the situation, I really started wondering why I was so bothered. I went to the Lord, and vulnerably asked Him why I was SOO utterly distraught. Then I realized, I was once again looking to a human being to answer my soul's deepest question : "Am I captivating enough?". You see, I had already known that the guy found me captivating to a point, I mean that's why he gave me all that attention right? But you see the issue came to be when I realized that I probably wasn't captivating enough to hold his attention in the midst of other amazing counterparts.

God, in His amazing faithfulness used this to teach me a lesson. This lesson had nothing to do with the guy at all. It just reminded me of my fears: the fear that i won't be captivating enough. After talking to God about this fear, my focus shifted from myself. How often have I taken my eyes off Jesus and pretty much said to Him, "you're good God, but You're not captivating enough to keep my attention for the rest of my life"? I realized that each and every moment I look to a human being to validate my worth, I'm pretty much telling God that who He says I am, and who I am in Christ falls short in some way. How messed up is that? These days I'm trying to be really careful to make my actions, thoughts, and emotions answer a resounding 'YES' to the  Lord. Because truth is, He is far more captivating that anything else we could ever set our gaze upon.

My prayer:
Jesus , you are captivating enough and forever will be. Help me to remember that each and every day.

Heb 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

Heb 12:2  "fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith."

Col 3: 1-4 " Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory."