What Matters Most

I've been meaning to make this blog post a very long time ago. The idea has been floating in my head and heart for quite some time, and so here I am, finally giving substance and tangibility to those mental processes. Before I go into what I want to discuss, I just want to really stress that we serve an amazing God. A God who is gentle and patient towards us. One who is love. He is literally Love. And it's His love that is carrying me through this difficult and painstaking process. He is the Good Shepherd of my soul.

I've found a noticeable commonality among my favorite Bible verses. They usually pertain to intimacy with God. If any of you know me really well, you won't be surprised by that statement. I desire intimacy. I love openness, and closeness within relationships. Hence, the same goes for my relationship with God. Verses that speak about delighting myself in the Lord (Psalm 37:4); or tasting and seeing that He is good (Psalm 34:8); verses that beckon my heart to  magnify the Lord and exalt His name forever (Psalm 34:3); or verses that remind me that nothing in this present world, or in the future could ever separate me from the amazing love that I have found in Him (Rom 8:38), are usually the ones that resound and echo the song of my heart the most. Thus, when I heard Psalm 73:25-26, it struck a huge a chord with me.

The Psalmist, Asaph, writes "25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. 26 My flesh an my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever".

I remember reading that verse and wanting so desperately for it to be the cry of my heart-wanting so much to be able to truly say to God, "when compared to who You are in my life, and my desire for you, nothing else in this world matters to me. You are my sole heart's desire". In all honesty guys, for a very long time, I could freely repeat that phrase because although the veracity (truth) of the content has been challenged in my life, it has seldom been on a major scale, and it was usually challenged by some external influence. Surely, God was the sole desire of my heart! I mean, He's been my everything since middle school. Right?

But, in all honesty, as graduation approaches,  I've found myself wrestling with the the reality of what matters most in life. When I think about my future, can I honestly say "there is nothing on earth that I desire beside You?" After all these years, I've finally found myself in a place where the answer to that question has become seemingly more difficult. And surprisingly, the doubt and ambiguity is stemming from within me, more-so than it is from external pressures. Because I've realized, that if my answer is still yes, then that affects everything. Am I willing to relinquish my own selfish idea of success for the sake of the Gospel?

As I ponder this, I am reminded of the parable that Jesus gave about the man who found a treasure hidden in the field, and because he was so joyful, he went and sold all he had and bought the field. Or the merchant who, while looking for fine pearls, found one of such great value that he went and sold all that he had, and bought it (Matt 13:44-46). May we be like that. May the the joy that we've found in the person of Jesus Christ be more than enough for us and our decisions for the future. My prayer is that the good pleasure of His will, will become the number one desire of our hearts. I want Him to be what matters most in my life, so that I can eternally etch the words of Psalm 73:25-26 on my heart, and truthfully declare:

"25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. 26 My flesh an my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever"