Did I miss out on my best life by following Jesus?

I almost slipped you guys. I almost slipped. It all happened so suddenly. I saw a couple social media posts of friends who are doing absolutely awesome things in their careers. I was genuinely happy for them (and still am), but not before long I started to have this thought: "what did I miss?" (any Hamilton fans out there?).  But no, really, that thought turned into "what did I miss by following the Lord?" "Did I, or AM I somehow missing out on my 'best life'?" Although I would love to say that I immediately cast down those thoughts and made them obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), I didn't. They actually ran through my mind for some days. I entertained them. I made them linger. I pondered on them in the recesses of my mind and heart. The more the days went by,  the deeper, the louder, and the more believable the thoughts became. 

Before I knew it, I found myself partially believing the lies. 

I thought to myself: "Maybe I did. Maybe I did miss out on my 'best life' by following God and being obedient to HIm. Perhaps I missed out on opportunities that could've lead me closer to some of my dreams and desires of my heart. Maybe if I didn't care about walking the straight and narrow,  I would be accomplishing some of the goals I have yet to see actualized. I mean, there are a whole bunch of people who are not walking with God who are "killing the game" with regards to their goals, dreams, desires, careers, etc. " Not only did I become discouraged, but I actually took it a step further and started to think..."what would my life look like if I walked away from my faith?" What would it look like if I started to live life on my terms? Then it dawned on me, I would also be walking away from my God. The One I can't go a day without. The One who is my all in all. My greatest Treasure in this life.

This whole mental processing was surely not fun, and I have to admit that I was shocked that  I would entertain these thoughts after having seen the goodness, faithfulness, and redemption of God all throughout my life. 

But God, in His kindness completely completely brought me back to truth. He brought me to Psalm 73. It is a Psalm of Asaph. Throughout this Psalm he writes: 

Truly God is good to Israel,
    to those who are pure in heart.  But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled,
    my steps had nearly slipped.  For I was envious of the arrogant
    when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

He goes on to describe the prosperity of the wicked, and the ways in which they live their lives according to their own pride. He even mentions how they speak against God.  The Psalmist then says "surely I have cleansed my heart in vain and washed my hands in innocence". He began to wonder if living a life of righteousness was worth it after all. That is, until he went into the house of God (verse 17). Upon entering the sanctuary of God, he realized the destructive end of the wicked. Asaph then says he began to be grieved. He began to see how erroneous and how foolish his thoughts were. And then He began to declare the truths of His Faithful God. He even declared that God was still continually holding him, as he went through his mental processing

"You hold me by my right hand. You will guide me with your counsel, and afterwards receive me to glory" verses 23b and 24. 

Then he goes on to declare, one of my favorite couplets in the scriptures. Whom have I in heaven but you, and there is none on earth that I desire beside you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever!" This my friends, is our confidence. The Holy Spirit reminded me that the world and all it has to offer will fade away, but at the end of it all, God alone is worthy of to live for and die for. Praise the name of Jesus.

Oh and after bringing me to that revelation, The Lord completely affirmed me in the purposes He's called me to and the fact that He will fulfil the desires of my heart. How amazingly kind of Him. Please be encouraged, I know sometimes walking the narrow road through life isn't easy, but take heart, He is so worthy.

Be blessed. Love you guys!